Frank Black found dead in home!

In a odd twist of events, apparently Mr Frank Black is dead!

Neighbours report hearing screams, and currently the Frank Black's mansion is being sectioned off by police tape. Police aren't speaking at the moment, but rumors are flying that Frank Black is indeed dead.

Who killed him? We want to know.

The circumstances of his dead are still unknown at the moment. It's known to all of us here that Frank Black wasn't exactly loved amongst all. But who would have guts, access and motive to finally off him?

At the moment, the witnesses and those present in the mansion at the time of his dead are being kept inside. Who knows who is getting arrested!

Or more importantly...who is getting that inheritance?!

We'll have more soon!

Crim-Black-son back together?

Are Heather Crimson and Frank Black back together?

The two broke up in February this year, in a rather ugly scene. But could all be well and romantic again between the two?

Heather Crimson has been recently seen visiting Frank Black's mansion. However, neighbours have said that the estranged daughter of the Crimson fortune has been coming out of Black's mansion looking dishevelled and angry.

Hardly the face of a woman in a happy relationship!

Heather Crimson had this to comment:

"I've only been to see Frank recently because I've been going to rehab. And he's just been so supportive and caring at this time. Whether we'll get back together, I don't know..."

She is currently working on a new album featuring songs about her experiences in rehab.

Blood Rituals in the Dunny-on-the-Wald children's playground?!

Nosy neighbour Mrs Pea is screaming bloody murder about the supposed "blood rituals" that are taking place in the children's park.

Police have disregarded the matter. Apparently there was no evidence of such when they arrived at the scene, except for a dead chicken. But they have ruled out foul (pun fully intended) play, and claimed it as a result of stray dogs.

Mrs Pea also claimed to have seen Reverend Grass at the scene in a black cloak. However, this claim has now been disproved as several women, including Jayne Apricott, have said that Reverend Grass was elsewhere that night attending to their religious studies.

Reverend Grass, of the Sinners' Reformist Church, had this to say:

"I feel sorry for Mrs Pea. She is obviously having some problems. I hope that she would join us for a sermon morning at the Church so that she may see the light..."

Crimson red with embarassment?

In a disastrous break up at the opening party of the Dunny-on-the-Wald art gallery, Frank Black has spoken out about his notorious ex-girlfriend, Heather Crimson:

"Heather was a vampire in our relationship. She stole heirlooms from my home, priceless things, would spend excessively when she went on one of her shopping holidays in Paris...worse yet, she's now taken up a cocaine habit! It's disgusting and I can't be silent anymore. She needs help..."

Heather Crimson was unavailable to comment.

But there's no doubt that Ms Crimson won't be welcome at a lot of parties anymore. Producers of the new reality show "The Crimson Life" said they were disappointed and may be pulling out of the new project, given such news.

Frank Black was recently scene on his yacht with an unknown female companion.

Again, Heather Crimson was unavailable to comment.

Black is a father?

In shocking news, a young woman named Jayne Apricott has come forward claiming that she is Frank Black's daughter.

This is purportedly from an affair with Louisa Apricott, an executive of an import company that Frank Black sat on the board for.

Frank Black refuses to comment on the situation.

The lovely 22 year old Jayne Apricott claims that she hopes nothing more than to reconcile with the father that she never met:

"I used to make him a birthday card every year and mum would send it off for me. But I never got a reply. I don't want to wait around for a reply in my mailbox anymore."

Will father and daughter make up?

Indian restaurant bombed and 5 dead!

Just this morning, the much loved Indian restaurant on Knit Road was severely damaged by a fire bomb attack.

Five people were announced dead at the scene with another seven injured.

Police are currently investigating the groups responsible for this horrific attack.

Rumors are that this may be the work of a local racial hate group. There are also talks that that National Alliance party, lead by MP Whittington, may have a hand in this. The activities and policies of this party, since it's election a year ago, has caused quite a controversy here in Dunny-on-the-Wald.

There have been whispers about secret racial hate websites and action groups being established. Even more worrying is the rumours of military hardware being brought in the dockside. So far, the police have found nothing and claim it is nothing but rumors.

Nevertheless, the National Alliance party remains silent and adamant in their denial of any involvement in such activities.

Keep you eyes out!

Whittington turns from Colonel to MP

The retired Colonel Whittington was just announced this morning to have won a seat in the Parliament by a few hundred votes!

Which is no wonder, considering the finances that have been put into promoting the Colonel. The well known Frank Black is amongst the Colonel's backers.

He is a candidate of the newly formed National Alliance party and it will be interesting to see what new policies and changes they will bring to the table.

Welcome MP Whittington!